Caring for yourself first before you can look after others

The World Health Organisation defines self-care as caring for one’s well-being and taking the time to do things that help you live well. It is so important that there is an International Self-Care Day recognised on 24 July annually. Engaging in self-care routines can help to reduce negative emotions like anxiety, stress and increase energy, concentration, and happiness. Small acts of self-care in your daily life can have a big impact, not just on you but also on the people under your care. Taking time off to care for yourself will allow you to care for your loved ones better. This is analogous to the airplane oxygen mask protocol – put on your own mask first before helping another with mask-wearing.

Self-care practices need not require money.

Self-care has often been associated with a reward, such as taking a much-needed vacation, splurging on rewards, or going out for a good meal with friends. There is nothing wrong if it brings you joy. However, the feel-good factor received from these self-care acts may not last for very long. Engaging in a self-care act does not necessarily involve spending money. It is important to discover what you need and enjoy. Henceforth, take some time to reflect on activities you enjoy doing, that make you feel good and give you a sense of meaning.

Self-care practices need not be individualistic.

People may think that practising self-care is selfish and feel that much time and energy spent on self-care should be devoted to their loved ones, instead of themselves. However, you can involve others in your self-care activities such as spending time doing activities with your loved ones, finding opportunities to meet new people such as classes and recreational groups or even reaching out to your family and friends who can provide emotional support and extra help.

Self-care is a necessity, not an indulgent practice. 

The most common reason people give for not engaging in self-care is due to a lack of time. There is an underlying belief that we must always be productive – which can ultimately take away from opportunities for self-care as they view it as a loss of productive hours. However, self-care is a priority that everyone needs daily, not just those who feel stressed. By taking time out to engage in self-care, you get to relieve your pressures and reset yourself to a healthy state for maximum productivity. Ironically, the busier we are, the more we ought to prioritise self-care to care for ourselves.

People often find it hard to start their self-care journey because we have a tendency to be overly critical and judgmental towards ourselves. We must remember that we are only human with imperfections, not superheroes. And having that quality is self-compassion. Self-compassion is defined as having an attitude of kindness and consideration toward oneself. Whereas, self-care is essentially the actions that embody being kind and considerate to oneself. Hence, when we couple self-care with self-compassion, it can help us see our self-care as a critical part of our daily lives.

Here are some tips to begin your self-care journey:

– Get regular exercises. Just 30 minutes of walking every day and breathing in fresh air can help boost your mood and improve your health. Small amounts of exercise add up, so don’t be discouraged if you can’t do 30 minutes at one time.

– Eat healthy, regular meals and stay hydrated. A balanced diet and plenty of water can improve your energy and focus. Limit consumption of caffeinated beverages such as soft drinks or coffee and avoid unhealthy responses such as smoking, alcoholism and abusive drug use.

– Make sleep a priority. Stick to a schedule, and ensure you are getting adequate sleep (7-9 hours for ages 18-64 years old). Avoid using electronic devices before bedtime as blue light from screens makes it more difficult to fall asleep.

– Try relaxing activities. Explore relaxation or wellness programs or apps, which may incorporate meditation, muscle relaxation, or breathing exercises.

– Set goals and priorities. Decide what must get done now and what can wait. Learn to say “no” to new tasks if you start to feel like you’re taking on too much.

– Practise gratitude and focus on positivity. Remind yourself daily of things you are grateful for. Be specific, write them down at night, or replay them in your mind.

Read more below:

1. We need to take self-care seriously: Our mental and physical health depend on it
2. The Art of Self-Care
3. Self-Care at Work: Ideal, but not achievable?
4. Creating a Healthier Life: A Step-by-Step Guide

Wellbeing Resources and Helplines

1. mindline for Youth
2. HealthHub’s MindSG
3. Agency for Integrated Care Mental Health Resource
4. Community Health Assessment Team (CHAT)
5. Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) (24hrs)
   1. Hotline: 1767
   2. Whatsapp: 9151 1767
6. Youthline: 6436 6612 (9am to midnight)