How to Boost Your Confidence

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You were sitting in a talk. While absorbed in the topic of discussion, you suddenly realised how engaging the speaker was. Perhaps it was the way he spoke, or how he looked straight into the audience’s eyes. Every word, expression, and gesture the speaker made exuded confidence. You wished you were born with such poise, so that speaking in front of a crowd will not make you cower in anxiety.

But confidence is not a characteristic one is born with. It is a skill ANYONE can learn. Are you as confident as you would like to be? Improve yourself everyday by making sure to…

Get to know yourself well

Who Am I

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A striking characteristic of confident people is that they seem to know very well what they want. They trust that the decisions they make will eventually lead them to desired goals.

However, to arrive at this stage of self-assurance takes a great deal of introspection and honesty. Can you tell what your interests, strengths, and weaknesses are? What are the things you still need to learn? What are some values that you hold most dear? Once you understand the motivations behind what you say and do, you naturally become more comfortable with your own person.

Challenge yourself by stepping out of your comfort zone little by little. Comfort zones expand when you keep crossing it, and shrink when you stay in it. Former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”You will find that on hindsight, these ‘scary’ things are not so bad after all. 

Treat yourself well

Mindful

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 If you feel good, you will be good and do good. Practise a little tender loving care by staying in good health and keeping your spirits up! Be mindful of the things you do. Ensure that you get enough sleep in the week, exercise regularly, and eat nutritious food. Your body is a temple. To treat it any less would be blasphemous.

You may not care much for fashion, but you can wear garments that make you feel comfortable, and that expresses your individuality. Devote a little time each day to groom your hair, skin, and outer appearance. You want to be confident, so look the part!

Watch your body language

Body Language

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Communication is mostly non-verbal. So even before you utter a word, your body and face is already telling a story. How you align your posture and facial features become cues that others pick up when they discern you. It shapes their judgement of you and it colours their perceptions. So take this opportunity to convince everyone and yourself that you ARE confident by improving your body language.

Check out this TED Talk by Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy on “power posing” –standing in a posture of confidence although we do not feel it. When done consciously a few minutes at a time, power posing can boost your mood and confidence profoundly.

Expand and nurture your support system

So you don’t know how to address an issue confidently. Don’t sweat it, because everyone has encountered obstacles before. Besides falling back on your usual support system, be bold in seeking out necessary expertise. It is always recommended for you to learn from people who have been there, and done that.

Choose your companions and role models wisely because they will influence your perspectives. It is easier to be yourself and feel self-assured when you are surrounded by people who also share the same values as you.

Think and Act Positively

Positive Thoughts

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If by now you are thinking, ‘All these tips are easier said than done! Finding confidence is still beyond me!’, then you have successfully discovered the biggest obstacle to developing confidence. You are now harbouring a negative thought that may not necessarily represent objective reality, and it can impede you from improving. Keep that negativity at bay. You CAN do so much better.

Begin the day by listing some things that you are grateful for. It could be as simple as that your awesome family loves you unconditionally, or that you can pull another breath of life. Get ready to bounce back because we can learn from failures. Be confident that you can give it another try.

Let us not misconstrue confidence to be a fixed attribute; it is a skill that can be learned and earned through years of conscious caring for one’s thoughts, actions, and emotions. So the next time you meet someone so confident it blows your mind, remember that this trait does not come easy, and that you too can be someone else’s inspiration.